Helpful Tips for the Bereaved

Posted on 08/12/2021

How to Plan a Funeral

When a loved one dies, it can be understandably difficult for family and friends to focus on organising everything that needs to be done. Friends and family may not know how to express their sympathy appropriately. And the immediate family of the deceased may not know what needs to be arranged in terms of the funeral and everything associated with it. Here is a helpful guide for the family and friends of the bereaved, which can make the process easier.

Attending a Funeral

Funerals can differ depending on the customs and culture of the family of the deceased. Typically, a Christian funeral will require attendees to dress in black and to wear appropriate clothing. This can mean wearing a suit or modest dress and ensuring that your arms and legs are covered during the funeral service. Being modestly dressed shows respect for the deceased and their family and can be a requirement at religious services such as Muslim, Jewish, and Christian services. Unless the family specifically requests attendees to wear a certain colour, it is best to wear black or dark colours to show respect. Usually, an order of service will be available to mourners, complete with the order of readings and hymns. This is useful for those that are not familiar with the customs of the religion or culture associated with the service.

Appropriate Conduct at a Funeral

When attending the funeral, note that the immediate family will sit nearest to the front of the service venue. Be sure not to encroach on this space by sitting too near the front and if you are unsure, aim to sit near the middle or back of the venue, especially if the venue is particularly full. Be respectful and turn off your phone to avoid causing disruption. You should also refrain from talking during the service unless joining in with the readings and prayers at the appropriate times.

Having Flowers Delivered For a Funeral

When somebody dies, it is common for friends and relatives to send flowers to the family of the deceased. You must check that flowers are an appropriate way to show sympathy as some religions, such as Judaism, do not accept gifts during mourning. Once you have ascertained that flowers are appropriate, there is a number of floral arrangements that can be gifted. A sympathy bouquet can be sent to the family home to convey your condolences. You may choose to send flowers by post as this is more appropriate than an ostentatious bouquet arriving by courier. Wreaths and funeral flowers can be organised in advance via your local florist and sent by same day flower delivery or next day flower delivery to the funeral or family home in advance of the funeral service. Sending them via these swift services can ensure the flowers arrive on time. It would be inappropriate to take flowers to the funeral service as the funeral organisers need to arrange the flowers in the hearse prior to the service. Likewise, sympathy flowers should not be given during the funeral service.

Thank You Notes for Attendees

When somebody has been kind enough to arrange sympathy flowers delivery or to attend the funeral of your loved one, it is good to conduct to send a thank you note. This may not always be possible, especially if a huge number of mourners attended, but if few significant people were particularly attentive and kind during these difficult times, a thank you note would undoubtedly be appreciated. The note can be very simple and express how much it means to you to have support from friends and family.